Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Stink lines? Coming from your head?  Thats bad.  The only thing thats worse is stink lines and flies.  That could only mean feces.   
no, it really accentuates your cheekbones.  honest.
this is funny... right?  right?
I think I have those sandals.
I recognize most of these types of pizza.  But what is that evil thing on the top right?  P.S. -- This book, which attempts to explain and illustrate ALL of life's particulars, from how to brush your teeth to how to insert a tampon to how to write a check, has 2 entire pages, 20 illustrations, dedicated to "Ordering a Pizza"
...and then go absolutely fucking crazy.
"Ux! Wux! Vix! Wrn! Toilet bowl!" 
seriously.  not OK.
Cross-dressers love messing shit up like this.  Someone is going to have to clean that up, you know.  Will you at least wipe that smirk off your face?
We all know that mutant octo-men are great at juggling but, please, must you rub it in? 
...no matter how awkward it seems.  especially don't make fart noises.  just pretend you live in a world where its okay to talk to strangers in an elevator.  
But he looks so well-dressed.  Thats what's creepy.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Celebrity eskimos = potentially dangerous elevator companions
"Who am I?  I don't even recognize myself anymore. Oh god."
I would have enjoyed drawing this picture.  Thats why I love it. 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Don't steal the nice clothes and put your ripped, soiled clothes on store mannequins.  You will surely get caught.
or just wear clothes without so many buttons and zippers. T-shirts, sweatpants, etc.
but they look so happy.  isn't that really what's important?
Cats can be very distracting.  

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

good advice.
Oh, get off that high horse, will ya?  Like you've never burped.  
Striped blouse = OK and trustworthy.
Solid color blouse = this woman might be in a gang.  be extremely careful.

I don't see anything wrong with her outfit. I might decide to leave the wicker basket at home, but thats about it.  

Saturday, May 9, 2009